I distinctly remember the dim lighting in the room. I recall the bleacher seats rising behind a plexi-glass wall. I remember the feel of my tiny feet sinking into the mat below me. I remember my pulse quickening as I listened to the instructor call out commands: Left punch. Right cross. Side kick. I remember hearing him call out, but not being able to convince my body to comply. I stood there frozen in all of my 6 year old anxiety. I had begged my parents to sign me up for that karate class. What kid in the 80s did not want to rise to the level of Cobra Kai?
However, the next time I was begging my parents... it was to quit.
So, you might wonder how I came to find my feet sinking into a similar mat 30 years later.
I have been watching my son in his lessons for several months now. I found myself the parent of a child with similar anxieties. When I signed him up for the 6-week trial at TriStar Martial Arts in Westminster, I began to displace some of my own anxieties of my youth onto the current situation. Much like I was at his age, he was excited to don his uniform, tie his belt, and admire his reflection in the mirror. But, I worried that he would crumble under the pressure as I did when the classes actually began.
He did not. He was nervous, yes. It was a process. But, he prevailed. He thrived, even. I have seen such a change in his self esteem and self confidence since beginning classes.
As his eyes caught mine through the mirror in a recent class, I started to think about how it would have been had I continued with martial arts. To be honest, the thought of standing on that mat still terrified me a bit. All of these things that consume us with fear as children can carry over into adulthood - the fear of failing, being in the spotlight, and in new situations. Despite our years, we can still suffer greatly from low self confidence and esteem. I have been working so hard to expose my children to different experiences and situations so that they can break free from the anxieties that have held me back for most of my life. But, as his eyes caught mine this day, I realized that the best way to lead is by example. To teach bravery and resilience, I needed to model bravery and resilience.
So, I signed up for an introductory all-levels adults-only class. I found my feet sinking into a blue mat once again. The type of martial arts taught at TriStar in Westminster is Taijutsu. This literally translates as “body skill” or “body technique.” The focus is on mastering the use of one’s body, particularly in the area of self defense. During the class, we were partnered up and instructed on how to block strikes, escape certain holds, and protect ourselves in various situations. I entered the class full of stress after a long day, but that subsided quickly as I called on my brain to remember sequences of movement in response to various threats. I’ll be honest. My brain may have been working as hard as my muscles. Mark that as two huge benefits of training in martial arts as an adult.
I will confess that I did not go into this experience alone. I brought along my mother and close friend for support. After a long day of work and parenting, I was thankful to be in a space with my tribe. Looking around the room, I could see the relationships built by the members and the social connection that this space provided. The calendar on the wall was covered with that week’s birthday wishes and dates for various member events. Maybe even more so than children, we adults need to find ways to stay connected and socially involved for our mental health. Research has shown this time and time again. TriStar provides the foundation for this.
As the class went on, I became more and more comfortable. Everything was thoroughly explained and demonstrated and the encouragement from the instructors was heartening. There were periods of intense focus, where I felt almost meditative in the practice. Learning self defense skills is empowering in both body and spirit. I began to learn that my size does not determine my strength; it is a recipe of skill and mastery of my body.
There were also periods of laughter as I found the instructors were equally adept in martial arts and quick wit. For forty minutes, I left my anxiety out of the dojo and off of the mat. I forgot about my to-do list and my daily burdens.
No longer will I be watching my child and cringing from my childhood memory. Instead, I will be wishing it was me out there on that mat.
To any adults watching their child week after week in their karate class. To any adult reading this that is festering with anxiety and stress. To any adult wishing to find a community of amazing people: I urge you to try a class with TriStar Martial Arts of Westminster.
I received a free class in exchange for this article. As always, opinions are 100% my own.
