What happened to the fairytale romance? Are you still the princess in your
relationship? Oh no! Don’t tell me, you’ve entered the comfort zone, running on
autopilot. Long days at work, stress, children, household chores, extra curricular
activities, finances and more can get in the way and the intimacy is the last thing
that is being maintained. Life certainly has its ups and downs, conflicts, and
obstacles, but it is possible to put some magic back into your love life.
If you’re single, your romantic life also needs you to have some energy to make
connections apart from your children. Did you say you’re in a new and exciting
relationship? Guess what; you still need to remember that romance is the spark
that keeps the flame growing. Continue to ‘woo’ your partner.
To be the best parent you can be, you need time to recharge. Parents are not
being selfish by taking time out for themselves. Your children want a happy,
pleasant, confidant parent to love and nurture them. Show them that you care
enough for them to take care of yourself so you can give them 100%. Displaying
signs of affection to your spouse also helps your children develop skills needed
later in life.
Men and women have very different definitions of what romance means to them.
For most men, it's all about the destination, (sex); but to a woman, it’s the
journey. The part of the brain that controls emotion is larger in the female, which
is one explanation why women desire more of a mental, spiritual, and even
physical connection. For most women that journey begins when they wake up, so
get your game on! Foreplay is not just a warm touch at night; it can begin the
moment you wake up in the morning.
Make a list of the things you would like to do together with your partner. You
have my permission to get a little frisky here. Take some alone time after the kids
have gone to bed, snuggle on the sofa together and share the list. (Go a little
farther, set the mood with wine & candles) I can’t say it enough…
COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!
In order to win at having a successful and fulfilling relationship it’s important to
understand your partner’s needs. I typically advise my clients to refer to the book,
The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Your partner is not a mind reader.
Communication is key to understanding and discovering each other’s desires.
Respect each other’s differences.
Surprise him and change up from your flannels to a cute pair of boy shorts & t-
shirt or silky nighty. It’s the little things that make the biggest difference. Trust
me, it feels good to get out of the ‘granny jammies’ once in a while.
Go out of your way to let each other know how much you appreciate them, how
much you care. Romance is anything that makes you or your partner feel good.
Put away the remotes and cell phones and give each other 100% of your time.
Be present in the moment. I know you’ve heard that a hundred times but we all
need reminders.
Incorporate romantic gestures in your day-to-day activities. This can become a
learned behavior for both men and women. A surprise romantic gift or other
simple gesture has the potential to re- kindle the magic romance that you once
shared.
Does it look like I’m having you doing all the romancing? Well, it has to start
somewhere. Someone has to take that first step. To romance means to take
action. It takes a little work but watch out, the more you do, the more he gets
your hints. (wink wink)
“Love is not a feeling-love is an action, an activity…true love implies commitment
and exercise of wisdom” M. Scott Peck
You deserve a happy, healthy, fulfilling love life. Work it!
Homework:
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
http://amzn.to/1RS3gKQ
Written by Sheila Tempchin
Pure Romance by Sheila T
Mom, grandma, women’s health and romance advisor
Teacher, author, speaker, and lover of life
